She Never Told Him
by Fantasy's-Priestess
Summary: 'Dana Scully kept many secrets from one Fox Mulder.' On her deathbed, Dana Scully thinks of her biggest regret MSR


**This is my first X-Files story, so be gentle with me :)**

**P.S. Spoilers for Seasons 1-6**

**EDIT: I decided that the original way that Scully was put into the hospital was stupid, so I rewrote it lol I reread it and I literally yelled "What the hell?" at my computer XD So here is a revised addition (Sorry if it isn't the best addition :P)**

Dana Scully kept many secrets from one Fox Mulder. Some were withheld unintentionally from him, some very intentionally. But that hardly matters when it comes down to withholding information from the person you love, right?

But as she sat there in the small rowboat, waiting either to be dragged back to shore or to be let go, she couldn't help but want to turn back time to all those missed opportunities in which she could have told him all these secrets. She couldn't help but think of all the stuff she kept from him…the stuff she should have told him a long time ago.

She never told him that the first thing she thought about him during their first meeting was that he had nice eyes. They were deep and soulful, and she could tell those eyes had seen far too much in their many years.

She never told him that he wasn't at all what she had expected. She had expected a crazed but intelligent man, a man that chased fairy tales in the dark. She did not expect an insightful yet vulnerable young man, who interested her more than he should have.

She never told him that when he almost died during the Boggs case, the only reason she left his bedside was because of her need to catch the son of the bitch that did that to him.

She never told him that the first time she cried since her father's death was when they were kicked off the X-Files for the first time. She was so heartbroken over the fact that she wouldn't be able to put down his theories or fly across the country to chase down the truth. She was heartbroken that she'd be losing her best friend.

She never told him that when Duane Berry kidnapped her, she knew beyond a doubt that he would save her.

She never told him that she forgave him instantly when he didn't.

She never told him that when she finally recovered some of the memories she had of her abduction, one of the most persistent memories was of her missing and crying out for Mulder.

She never told him that she was disappointed that when she awoke from her coma, his wasn't the first face she saw. She had longed desperately to see those deep hazel eyes.

She never told him when he "died", she didn't leave her apartment for days. And the only reason she left was because her Mother found her and dragged her out.

She never told him that when he barged into his apartment when she and Skinner were having a show-down, she almost dropped her gun and knocked him down with the pure force of her embrace.

She never told him that when she first found out about her cancer, her first thought was that she loved him way too much to tell him right away and break his heart. And on some level, that scared her.

She never told him that when she was in his arms, she wanted to stay there forever.

She never told him that as she lay on her deathbed, one of the major reasons she didn't want to die was because she didn't want to leave him alone in the world. She couldn't stand the thought of him being alone in that little basement room.

She never told him that when she found out her cancer went into remission, she knew that he had saved her yet again. And that she was grateful for him forevermore.

She never told him that she attempted to call him when she first found out about Emily.

She never told him that when Emily died, he was the only thing that got her through the pain.

She never told him that when he told her that the FBI was trying to separate them, she had to bite her tongue from saying; _They'll never separate us as long as I'm alive._

She never told him that she actually did enjoy playing house with him on the Arcadia case.

She never told him that she enjoyed playing baseball with him, despite the fact that the only reason she hit any balls was because Mulder was helping her play. She had never wanted that night to end.

She never told him that when Phillip Padget told them that she was already in love, she couldn't help but agree.

But her worst regret had to be the fact that she never told him that she loved him before she almost got killed protecting one of the victims (a child ironically enough) from one of their cases when the killer came back for more.

**~~~::~~~**

When she finally did wake up after leaving that peaceful place with the boat for the second time, the first thing she saw was his face. As she looked into those heavenly hazel eyes, she couldn't help but let go of all her regrets and finally tell him.

And when, months later, she was lying in his arms after a great night's sleep and she awoke to his gorgeous eyes staring at her and his lips smiling down at her, she could help but feel as if she'd never regret anything ever again.

She was so glad she finally told him.

**Review…you know you want to…**


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